I’m not sure if this post will be coherent or even interesting but I mainly thought of this post because of a song that’s been stuck in my head– aptly named Mr. Pushover.
My roommate asked me if she could have the room Saturday night so her and her boyfriend could watch a movie… or “watch a movie”. But I don’t know, maybe I’m sheltered or whatever, but to me it’s rude. That’s basically kicking someone out of their rooms, their place of sanctuary and peace, whereas to watch a movie, one could go to a private room in the library or something. This isn’t the first time she’s asked either, and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to say no because then I’ll seem like a jerk and I don’t want to say yes because I’m a homebody. And also, I was out all night on Friday because my school had a bunch of stuff going on, so I wanted a night in watching tv or studying or whatever. (My tenses are getting weird because I started this on Saturday but only now have time to write it).
And you know what was even better is she asked me, literally the day after, if she could have him back again next Saturday. Because it was “her night to host”. (They do this thing where she rents movies when it’s her night to have him here and then he picks the movie and then they switch). I, in a slightly annoyed tone told her that it was just her night and, luckily, she hasn’t brought it up since.
But I’m really sick of her using me but I’m too much of a damn pushover to say anything because in the back of my head I have a stupid voice telling me that “in the real world this isn’t that big of a deal”. She also gives me cards, that I find a bit annoying, (like for my birthday two weeks ago) that say “I’m the best roommate she could have gotten”. Yeah, I am, because I’m a passive moron that puts up with her shit.
There was another time where she asked me if her boyfriend’s sister could stay here for a night, even though at the beginning of the year in our roommate agreement she said SHE didn’t feel comfortable having people of either sex spend the night. Hmm. Kind of screwed the pooch on that one didn’t you? Anyway, she was all nervous and I pretended to care, because she was meeting his mom and stuff. So she came back from lunch with his family all exasperated and sighing all over the place. I, honestly concerned (or curious, you decide XD) as to what happened, asked her what was wrong. You know what she did? Blatantly ignored me, sat down on the blow up mattress that was on the ground for the boyfriend’s sister, and called her mom, preceding to tell her everything. Ok, forget about me. I’m done caring. I also heard her talking to his sister the morning after she slept over. And the sister, in a very snotty way, said “She’s still not up?” (It’s a Saturday and it’s 9 am. No, I’m not. Thanks for the judgment) She responded in a snarky “oh no, she wont be up for a long time”. I was so close to calling down from my bed “I am up actually” or “I can hear you, you know”. I should have…
By the way she does this a lot. She ignores me when I ask what’s wrong if she’s crying or if she seems exasperated. I’ve stopped caring and ignore her when she does. I may seem cold and cruel, but I can’t keep investing when I get nothing in return from her.
Another thing that’s very obnoxious is that she doesn’t really like when I have conversations on the phone when she’s in here studying, which I get, so I leave. Yet, sometimes when I’m still awake and studying, she’ll go up to her bed as if to go to bed but call her parents instead and talk to them. So I have to put my headphones in and try to ignore it.
Sorry this kind of turned into a very long rant about my roommate…I was originally just going to talk about the first part…
And I know that I could have gotten worse (my friend’s roommate will have her boyfriend over and fall asleep in her bed together in the middle of the day or start a movie very late at night together). But I am just sick of getting stepped on by people. I guess I should speak up more, but I am just non-confrontational… I blame the internet…
PS: I feel judged about every thing I do around her. I want a soda today: oh she’s looking at it now…probably thinking about why I shouldn’t drink that stuff. Or how I’m watching a show while doing homework, she’s probably thinking wow, she’s not as invested in her studies as I am. No, I am, I just like to also have a break from them 😛