So I was originally going to name this post something different but I kind of switched an angle on what to write about so yeahhh….I think it’s true though. People kind of suck sometimes while Reindeer help Santa bring presents to kids.
So I went to a concert the other night, it was the Kaiser Chiefs and it was aweeeeeeeeesommmmeee. But I kind of had some really crappy luck up through the day of the concert–all involving friends.
My friend, who I was extremely close to in High School for almost all four years kind of dropped off the map of my life and has been putting herself and other friends before me and the small tight-knit group we had in High School. It sucks, a lot. Anyway, she originally told me about said concert and bought the tickets so I could go with her and my sister. However, about a week before hand she tells me she can’t go anymore because she got an internship. I know that’s a legitimate excuse, but was still really sucky because we had been excited to go and now she didn’t even really seem to care.
Now, she also, because of the stupid internship, had said that she might have to skip another concert I have planned with friends in July which also involves a road trip, even though we’ve been planning it for months and she just got the internship two weeks ago. This is extremely frustrating that she seemed to already be calling it quits on this road trip even before she started it and would only end up missing one day.
I guess this whole thing is frustrating to me because all year she has been kind of distant and I feel like I’ve lost a really close friend. There was even a band that came to an area near us for a very small price and I wanted to go so bad but she didn’t even bother to invite me after I told her I wanted to go. She just invited friends from her new college. It really hurt. I don’t think I’ve quite let it go yet and kind of still act all awkward around her. I take things too personally I know, but I was raised to always have empathy and as my mom likes to say, “root for the underdog” so I can’t help but be ruled by emotions Another thing that sucked is that I lost one of my childhood pets about a month ago and she never called, texted, or said anything to me about it even though she knew because my sister posted something on facebook that she liked. That also hurt because she knew how much the cat meant to me and I got texts from other friends I’m not as close to.
I think this last year and the hurt I’ve felt because of her has effected me in other situations as well. As one lyric (that I love) states, “Scars left on my heart formed patterns in my mind”. For instance one friend couldn’t go for legit reasons, and in the back of my head I knew that too, but again, it felt like a personal refusal. I just sent her a message to explain to her everything but I don’t know how to actually tell the girl I feel most hurt by the truth. I’ve also felt rejected by another friend that I’m ready to tell “I’m done” to. Ok, this one sounds like middle school drama but oh well. She keeps posting things and I’ll like them and post a comment but she ignores me and responds to everyone else and likes their comments. So now I’m at where I was at with my roommate, done trying.
So I guess I don’t know how to proceed with them or how to talk to the friend I was close to, without losing my friendship. My sister and mom know how I feel and told me I should talk to my friend but I don’t even know if it’d be worth it.
Well I don’t exactly know how to end this post butttt comment if you’ve gone through anything similar or have any advice!