“Someday all this mess will make me laugh—I can’t wait, I can’t wait, I can’t wait”

So unfortunately I wasn’t born into an extremely rich family, so to pay for school, I’ve had to get jobs since high school.  I kind of procrastinated on that though, with a few babysitting jobs until the start of my senior year, when I got a job as a hostess at a local restaurant.  However, now I have a glorious job at Walmart!  Yaaayyy….  It’s not terrible (in fact, it’s way better than the ridiculous drama I dealt with at the restaurant where I worked).  However, the worst part, and the best part can be the people.  I have had the most rude and cruel people come through my line (oh yeah, I’m a cashier) and each time I’m bewildered by how some people act.

I get it, people have bad days, but they shouldn’t be ignorant and take it out on strangers doing them a service.  That’s why I wholeheartedly agree with the idea that every one should work a job in customer service at least once in their life.  Just say hello, please, and thank you.  That’s all.  Not too hard.  And not too much to ask.  Is it?

So, about some of the people I’ve dealt with.  There was one old man who was just plain cruel to me and caused me to eventually take a tone with him, I wouldn’t take with any other customer or person for that matter.  He brought up some fruit, and if anyone knows about how fruit and vegetables work at grocery stores, you have to type in a four-letter code found on the bag or sticker, or a pamphlet the cashier has ( at least this is how my Walmart works).  So I typed in the code as the guy is telling me how much a sign said they were.  I finally got them to ring up but accidentally typed in a different code so they came up more than he had said.  I immediately took them off and began looking for the right code. He began to basically yell at me, “No they were $1.98!  You don’t believe me!” over and over again.  I tried to explain my mistake and tell him that I was going to change it, but apparently that wasn’t enough and I didn’t believe him.  I used a code on the computer to try and get a supervisor over (but they got tied up in customer service so no one came for a long time).  So, because he didn’t see me physically call a supervisor after I repeatedly told him I had, he yelled at me to “ask him” indicating to the cashier behind me.  I went to that cashier to double check the number I was typing in and he helped me.  The man begrudgingly paid, while he angrily said “What did he say?  What did he say? What did he say?”  So I flat out ignored the old man, trying to get him the heck out of there before I yelled back.  He began to walk away, stopped, and pointed at his receipt, “See, they rang up as $1.99”.  So I just smiled and said “Ok, you can take it to customer service.”  His response?  Pissed off at the world voice: “I will”.

During this time I was caught the look of the guy behind the old man.  He had a look of pure awe and anger that the old man was being so mean.  And when he came up to me after the old man left, he sort of shouted sarcastically “How are YOU today” while laughing.  He then murmured, “I hope I don’t become an ass hat like that when I get old, jeez.”  I just smiled, because I didn’t want to be mean and catty but I’m sure I gave this man a look of such relief because I had just been badgered for something that I did everything I new to fix it.  I was also still pretty new so I felt crappy enough from his words and from not knowing what to do.

I had another lady come through my line with about 20 of the cheap flavored waters Walmart sells.  Now, I usually just bag these but some people don’t like it so I asked her if she wanted them bagged.  Maybe it had been a bit of a stupid question but I was exhausted, almost done with a ten hour shift.  However, I don’t think that warranted her response, which was, “Yeah, what else?”  in a very snotty way.  I unfortunately had the same lady today who was very snippy and said thank you in a way that made it seem as if I’d wasted her time.  I mean, if you’re going to be crabby or annoyed by the cashier, go to the dang self-checkout!


*I started this before I quit and went back to school, but I know more things hapened that sucked before I did, including a creepy guy who came through my line a few times and who I wish wouldn’t XD

Anyway, enjoy my pain and frustration!


The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Just a little randomness from my mind

So, I like to name my blogs based on song titles usually because I love music and suck at titling things.  However, this post is going to be a random thoughts popping into my head because there are equally random emotions swirling around in there as well.  Now do I start on a good note, or end it there?  Decisions decisions…

I guess good since I have a lot of pent up anger from the last few weeks still swirling around in my mind and want to rant about that more, so might as well get the good out of the way (I know, so pessimistic).  Soooo, the good: I got a book called The Writer’s Lab: A Place to Experiment With Fiction written by Sexton Burke.  It’s a book that gives you different creative writing prompts and lets you, as the title suggests, play with fiction.  It sounds like a fun book, and hopefully it can get me posting some interesting stories or ideas on here too.   He had another book too about adventures with fiction writing that sounds really interesting so I’ll hopefully get that if I can get myself to do each prompt in the book I have now.  Wish me luck!

On to the not so fun stuff.  I went on a trip with some friends which was fun but it also sucked in some ways.  One, we were going to go to an attraction (The House on the Rock) on the way to our destination, which would cost us money.  I had just finished reading American Gods by Neil Gaiman where the characters visit the house.  I was super excited to see it all because of this and to imagine I was walking with the characters in his novel.

So I asked everyone multiple times before we left if the $28.50 was OK with them to spend to see the entire house.  But when we got there everyone threw me for a loop and suddenly said that they didn’t want to spend all that money.  I was utterly shocked and hurt and on top of me not having a lot of sleep that morning, quite emotional.  I told them that I wanted to see it all and they kept insisting that we stay together and only see one part, as they asked me which part I wanted to see.  I really wanted to blurt out “Whatever place you guys won’t be seeing”.  That sounds bitchy, but I was truly hurt, felt ganged up on, and just wanted to be alone when the tears welled up inside me.

I eventually asked the woman working there what the best section was because I didn’t want to talk to my friends and if they insisted just one, I didn’t want them to choose for me.  So I chose section 2 (which was amazing—if you know about the house, it had the giant whale and the carousel).  My friends had settled on a different section but hadn’t bought their tickets yet.  I was about to burst into tears, so I just told the lady that I’ll go with what she said and go through section two.  But then my friends changed their minds to number 2 because they didn’t want to separate even though a few minutes prior, they’d discussed separating.  However, they didn’t come graciously.  I definitely saw a few annoyed looks pass between them and saw one in particular role her eyes, which made me feel even more like shit.  So I called my sister, and the minute she picked up, tears just started falling.

Now, we only talked for a minute or so because my friends had gotten their tickets and were moving on.  It also started to rain–coincidence?  I think not.  But either they completely ignored my tears or were very unobservant because they flowed for a bit.

The lovely day didn’t end there either.  (Oh and I started the morning off with just a “lovely” text from my stepdad who was pissed off about me “taking” my mom’s phone charger, even though she could use his and I had asked her permission).  But any-who,  we eventually got to our destination, ultimately to find out we were late (it was a concert).  And who was on stage?  My favorite band.  I rushed for the ticket counter but people were taking a while and I ended up missing three songs as my friends got pissed off at me for not waiting for every single one of them.  Now, I was kind of annoying here I admit, but they would have done the same for their favorites.  So I got happy because I could just absorb the music and forget my troubles (c’mon get happpyyy—House anyone?  great episode).

That didn’t last much longer than the actual band’s set though!  Yaaaay.  Me and three friends went to get some water and to go to the bathroom during the setup time of the next band.  So we went to the concessions area where two people broke off saying they were going to get a drink.  Fine, whatever, stay in pairs.  But then the third friend said, pointing at the bathroom, “There’s the bathroom, I’m going to go get a drink, meet me up by our spot.”  And before I could even respond, she scampered away.  The same friend who earlier had said that another of our friends shouldn’t go off on her own.  Irony.

I called my mom during this time because who doesn’t need some loving mommy support during a day from hell that was supposed to be awesome?  She was pretty upset, but I got to vent and tear up by complete strangers as she reassured me and calmed me down.  I was fine until I returned to our spot and none of my friends even turned to see me back there.  Immediately the tears began rolling.  Side note: I am an emotional person, sure, but I had had a shitty day and they were being hurtful.  Also no, I did not have my period when this went down just so you know.

Two eventually asked me if I was ok after I’m assuming they saw me whipping my eyes for the billionth time or the deep breathing or the lights bouncing off of my tear-filled eyes.  But ultimately I just let it go so as not to ruin the rest of the trip.  Clearly keeping everything in has not been working and I’ve started to boil over-hence the blog.  Probably also helps that just before this I was watching Bridget Jones…

So, there was more trouble in the next couple of days but none dealing directly with me or issues between me and my friends.  But what sparked me to write this actually happened tonight so I thought, “Eh, what the hell, rant time.”

I had told my friends of a theater nearby that has 5 dollar movie nights and really nice seats.  The movie we wanted to see, or so I thought (again) was The Purge.  We had all gone to see the first one together and had fun pointing out the flaws and laughing at each other jumping.  Now I thought going to the movie in a nice theater with cheap tickets would be fun and my friend had suggested we go on the Fourth of July when she had thought it came out, but I guess I was wrong because she baileddddd.  Yep.  I was informed that she was the one who didn’t want to see it that badly.  Huh, it’s like this happened to me a few weeks ago…oh wait, it did.  Instead,she’s going to have herself a merry little bonfire.  But honestly, after all this shit, I don’t really want to go and be around friends while wearing a fake smile.

I guess I’m just done being pushed around and walked all over by people who are supposed to care and be friends.  So this blog may seem like it’s out of anger, which it is, but it’s mostly out of hurt and my being tired of everything that they’ve been stringing me through the past couple of days.  Anyways, if you have questions or comments….leave a comment!  YAY!  Also, I don’t really want to reread this because it wasn’t that fun to write soooo ignore the errors if you see them because I didn’t edit!  Shhhhhh………

Reindeers are better than people…

So I was originally going to name this post something different but I kind of switched an angle on what to write about so yeahhh….I think it’s true though.  People kind of suck sometimes while Reindeer help Santa bring presents to kids.


So I went to a concert the other night, it was the Kaiser Chiefs and it was aweeeeeeeeesommmmeee.  But I kind of had some really crappy luck up through the day of the concert–all involving friends.

My friend, who I was extremely close to in High School for almost all four years kind of dropped off the map of my life and has been putting herself and other friends before me and the small tight-knit group we had in High School.  It sucks, a lot.  Anyway, she originally told me about said concert and bought the tickets so I could go with her and my sister.  However, about a week before hand she tells me she can’t go anymore because she got an internship.  I know that’s a legitimate excuse, but was still really sucky because we had been excited to go and now she didn’t even really seem to care.

Now, she also, because of the stupid internship, had said that she might have to skip another concert I have planned with friends in July which also involves a road trip, even though we’ve been planning it for months and she just got the internship two weeks ago.  This is extremely frustrating that she seemed to already be calling it quits on this road trip even before she started it and would only end up missing one day.

I guess this whole thing is frustrating to me because all year she has been kind of distant and I feel like I’ve lost a really close friend.  There was even a band that came to an area near us for a very small price and I wanted to go so bad but she didn’t even bother to invite me after I told her I wanted to go.  She just invited friends from her new college.  It really hurt.  I don’t think I’ve quite let it go yet and kind of still act all awkward around her.  I take things too personally I know, but I was raised to always have empathy and as my mom likes to say, “root for the underdog” so I can’t help but be ruled by emotions :/  Another thing that sucked is that I lost one of my childhood pets about a month ago and she never called, texted, or said anything to me about it even though she knew because my sister posted something on facebook that she liked.  That also hurt because she knew how much the cat meant to me and I got texts from other friends I’m not as close to.

I think this last year and the hurt I’ve felt because of her has effected me in other situations as well.  As one lyric (that I love) states, “Scars left on my heart formed patterns in my mind”.  For instance one friend couldn’t go for legit reasons, and in the back of my head I knew that too, but again, it felt like a personal refusal.  I just sent her a message to explain to her everything but I don’t know how to actually tell the girl I feel most hurt by the truth.  I’ve also felt rejected by another friend that I’m ready to tell “I’m done” to.  Ok, this one sounds like middle school drama but oh well.  She keeps posting things and I’ll like them and post a comment but she ignores me and responds to everyone else and likes their comments.  So now I’m at where I was at with my roommate, done trying.

So I guess I don’t know how to proceed with them or how to talk to the friend I was close to, without losing my friendship.  My sister and mom know how I feel and told me I should talk to my friend but I don’t even know if it’d be worth it.  :/


Well I don’t exactly know how to end this post butttt comment if you’ve gone through anything similar or have any advice!


Poor Poor Mr. Pushover…

I’m not sure if this post will be coherent or even interesting but I mainly thought of this post because of a song that’s been stuck in my head– aptly named Mr. Pushover.

My roommate asked me if she could have the room Saturday night so her and her boyfriend could watch a movie… or “watch a  movie”.  But I don’t know, maybe I’m sheltered or whatever, but to me it’s rude.  That’s basically kicking someone out of their rooms, their place of sanctuary and peace, whereas to watch a movie, one could go to a private room in the library or something.  This isn’t the first time she’s asked either, and it makes me feel uncomfortable.  I don’t want to say no because then I’ll seem like a jerk and I don’t want to say yes because I’m a homebody.  And also, I was out all night on Friday because my school had a bunch of stuff going on, so I wanted a night in watching tv or studying or whatever.  (My tenses are getting weird because I started this on Saturday but only now have time to write it).

And you know what was even better is she asked me, literally the day after, if she could have him back again next Saturday.  Because it was “her night to host”.  (They do this thing where she rents movies when it’s her night to have him here and then he picks the movie and then they switch).  I, in a slightly annoyed tone told her that it was just her night and, luckily, she hasn’t brought it up since.

Oh the drammma. Heh heh.  Also, she tried to guilt me into it as well by name-dropping his roommate and saying that “he really appreciates it”.  url

But I’m really sick of her using me but I’m too much of a damn pushover to say anything because in the back of my head I have a stupid voice telling me that “in the real world this isn’t that big of a deal”.  She also gives me cards, that I find a bit annoying, (like for my birthday two weeks ago) that say “I’m the best roommate she could have gotten”.  Yeah, I am, because I’m a passive moron that puts up with her shit.

There was another time where she asked me if her boyfriend’s sister could stay here for a night, even though at the beginning of the year in our roommate agreement she said SHE didn’t feel comfortable having people of either sex spend the night.  Hmm.  Kind of screwed the pooch on that one didn’t you?  Anyway, she was all nervous and I pretended to care, because she was meeting his mom and stuff.  So she came back from lunch with his family all exasperated and sighing all over the place.  I, honestly concerned (or curious, you decide XD) as to what happened, asked her what was wrong.  You know what she did?  Blatantly ignored me, sat down on the blow up mattress that was on the ground for the boyfriend’s sister, and called her mom, preceding to tell her everything.  Ok, forget about me.  I’m done caring.  I also heard her talking to his sister the morning after she slept over.  And the sister, in a very snotty way, said “She’s still not up?” (It’s a Saturday and it’s 9 am.  No, I’m not.  Thanks for the judgment)  She responded in a snarky “oh no, she wont be up for a long time”.  I was so close to calling down from my bed “I am up actually” or “I can hear you, you know”.  I should have…

By the way she does this a lot.  She ignores me when I ask what’s wrong if she’s crying or if she seems exasperated.  I’ve stopped caring and ignore her when she does.  I may seem cold and cruel, but I can’t keep investing when I get nothing in return from her.  Im-Not-Ignoring-You

Another thing that’s very obnoxious is that she doesn’t really like when I have conversations on the phone when she’s in here studying, which I get, so I leave.  Yet, sometimes when I’m still awake and studying, she’ll go up to her bed as if to go to bed but call her parents instead and talk to them.  So I have to put my headphones in and try to ignore it.

Sorry this kind of turned into a very long rant about my roommate…I was originally just going to talk about the first part…

And I know that I could have gotten worse (my friend’s roommate will have her boyfriend over and fall asleep in her bed together in the middle of the day or start a movie very late at night together).  But I am just sick of getting stepped on by people.  I guess I should speak up more, but I am just non-confrontational… I blame the internet…

PS: I feel judged about every thing I do around her.  I want a soda today: oh she’s looking at it now…probably thinking about why I shouldn’t drink that stuff. Or how I’m watching a show while doing homework, she’s probably thinking wow, she’s not as invested in her studies as I am.  No, I am, I just like to also have a break from them 😛


It’s starting to get to me…

Name the song!  Heh heh, well, my sister told me to start a blog.  So I’m starting a blog instead of doing homework.  I’m always full of great ideas.  Well when I was thinking of starting a blog I was brainstorming with said sister and decided to choose the one I did.  Why?  Because I like it.  No, honestly because not only is that lyric from one of my favorite bands, but I also feel like the entire song is how I feel right now.  Anyway, not what this post is about.

What I really want to talk about is how annoying people are in class.  I knowwwww, I don’t want to read people ranting either, but I need to say this because, as my post’s title suggests…it’s starting to get to me.

(I’m breaking up the post because I know one long huggeeee post is really annoying to read.  Sorry…. I’m a little disorganized and definitely have no order to this post.  Maybe I’ll try on later posts, but that’s asking a lot. )

So in my classes people have been very stupid.  And I get it, it’s college, you can have your computers and phones on in class.  But you’re really annoying in rude.  Just so you know!  The first thing I noticed was this guy in one of my classes playing Mario Kart on his computer during the entire class.  Even though I tried to pay attention, I kept getting distracted by his screen.  Really annoying.  Then I saw another guy in the same class looking at hockey stuff the entire time.  Hockey is not that important (no offense to hockey fans out there, it’s just that the subject can wait an hour).  And while I know this sounds like a rant (and it is heh heh) I would just be happier if they sat in the back row, away from any human contact if they wanted to go on their computers and be super distracting all class.

While I can (somewhat) get over the computer thing, I simply can not get out of my head what happened to day in my class.  A guy answered his phone.  While a student was giving a presentation….wtf?  And he didn’t even whisper!  The teacher and students at the front didn’t really pay attention or care but he had a deep voice so it was rather distracting and super rude to both teacher and student.  Ok…. that’s enough of a rant that no one probably cares about except me heh heh.  Soooo, bye I guess.

Woooooo I blogged.